Scared. Scared and lost. Scared, lost and out of control.
Panic. Panic. Panic.
Breathe.
Stop. Rationalise.
Think. Thinking. Over thinking
Can’t stop, won’t stop.
A million fireflies dancing around my imperfectly sculpted crainum.
My cranium isn’t like yours, or yours.
It’s unbalanced. It holds a faith so strong. No not a religion. Faith.
Cliche; take a leap faith.
It dances around like a child in a soft play.
But my crainum doesn’t understand fight or flight.
She. Yes shes a she. She’s unstable. Sometimes irrational. Probably a bit messy. She knows only one solution. Crash. Fall down. Bury. Hide. Let the world go by and it’ll work out.
She knows how to release the lava from the sockets in her head.
That burns with every drop, it scars her trophy that she shows to the world everyday
She knows how to decorate over the mess. Over the scars that the lava left last night.
She’s the best interior designer there is.
She can make that splintered shack into a polished, perfect loving home. And sell that image to everyone she knows.
a triangle
If it was a colour it would be dark brown
a dull grey day, no rain or sunshine just bland
If it was an item of clothing it would be an odd sock
Its voice sounds really mundane, monotone and low in pitch
saying one word answers
Its volume is a little quieter than normal
lost, frightened, uneasy
a confident swagger but with its head down, avoiding eye contact
It would be the empty field near epsom downs
he black square in the tate or it would be a canvas covered in paint with no real context or meaning, just sprays and splodges randomly thrown on it.
a trombone, it’s not playing classical jazz
It’s not sky blue
he first the bright crisp spring morning
It’s not a brightly coloured maxi skirt
It doesn’t yell really loudly and confidently
It doesn’t talk in metaphors and similes
It’s not amplified from the top of the empire state building
It doesn’t make me feel safe, or excited or lively
It wouldn’t walk like a old man with a walking stick
the bay outside sydney opera house
a vase encrypted with a hyroglifics